“Before we get started, does anyone wanna get out” – Captain America (a.k.a. hubby), CA:TWS 2014
No, seriously, if you’re a die-hard Swiftie you should probably leave now. I know how much Taylor means to you; stay out of this one, please – you’ll only make things worse*.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. Continue at your own peril.
First, I’d like to clarify that I do not hate Taylor Swift. Far from it. She has written endless chart-topping songs, she is the darling of social media, she is the very pinnacle of success.
She is a master manipulator.
She has carefully cultivated her image, transitioning seamlessly from country girl to pop queen and now presumably to edgy star. Yes, I am talking about that new look and new boytoy, but more on that later.
Taylor Swift is without a doubt, the most socially aware person I have (never) met – and it is because I do not know her in person that I will concede she could be every inch the way she has presented herself – flawless and likeable and sweet. However, as a little bit of a cynic, I think she is very very excellent at doing whatever it takes to make the masses like her.
The constant expression of pleasant ‘surprise’ at awards shows I will forgive, seeing as many girls (including myself) often make much the same expression in selfies (I have chubby cheeks alright? the jaw-drop helps me disguise it a little). No, my issue is with Taylor’s relationships, romantic and platonic.
Objectively, her string of relationships might not be too bad – a new one at some stage every year, for a couple of years. However, the memes were abuzz, often about how other female celebrities considered ‘sluts’ (I have an issue with that, by the way – why can’t males be sluts too?) didn’t date around half as much as Taylor, always considered the positive role model for young girls. Given the way those memes were floating all over Facebook? Yeah, if I were in Taylor’s shoes (which I’m not – man, I wish I could be half as successful by the time I’m her age), I’d pull out of the dating scene for a while and then start up a long-term relationship too (fyi, knowing nothing of Calvin Harris, I expected once news hit about the two that they would last for a good long while). After all, what better way to quash all the unflattering rumours?
Similarly, Taylor has manoeuvred herself into an almost untouchable position as the queen of social media. I say ‘almost’, because I think this latest thing with Tom Hiddleston has weakened her place slightly (as much as it generated publicity). But in the eyes of the world, Taylor can do no wrong. Every friendship she makes, media suggests a new best friend or that the lucky gal has been added into Taylor’s squad (and yes, it is indisputably Taylor’s despite the myriad of other famous faces in it – further proof of her success). Anybody who so much as hints at an insult towards Taylor is ruthlessly and publically cut down, with the word ‘feud’ often thrown into the mix – not to mention Taylor is beyond skilled at dragging former detractors into her circle and changing their minds (Exhibit A: Lorde). Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, amirite??? Chloë Moretz may be the only celebrity I’ve noticed who could get away with an almost-insult towards Queen Swift and live.
So is there a point to all this? Well, I just wanted to stick my oar in regarding all this latest hot goss. Taylor Swift is, in my admittedly uninformed opinion (uninformed in the sense that I don’t know her personally, so I shouldn’t judge, but I’m judging anyway because THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE DO!**) beyond clever at using press to her advantage. Every charitable donation, every saccharine-sweet holiday snap, every little service towards her fans (and she does really treat her fans very well – like I said, anything to cultivate her image she excels at); all of it is perfectly set to establish a certain persona and air of goodwill. (Again, I will reiterate: this could all come perfectly naturally to her, I don’t know, I’m just saying every move she takes, every action she makes, coincidentally has a wonderful effect on her reputation each time.) This latest thing with Tom however? Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t got nothing against them as a couple; she’s doing nothing wrong, she’s not cheating seeing as she’s already broken up with Calvin – but a new man 2 weeks after ending her ‘magical’ relationship of over a year? It’s certainly put her in a more precarious position socially than she’s ever been before, and she could have tried to keep things far more… lowkey (yes, I did just go there – I don’t care if you’re sick of the Loki/lowkey jokes splashed all over lately). Then again, I don’t know the endgame here; they could be genuinely very attracted to each other and some things just happen I guess, OR (conspiracytheoryalertdundundunnnn) this little act of rebellion could help cement her newer edgier vibe. Who knows?
That’s all folks! Me putting my two cents in. Hope this was an interesting read and sorry if you hate me now – I warned you, but hey everyone’s entitled to their own opinions so guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree. (No “Bad Blood”, ’kay?) Incidentally, if it’s any consolation to you, Taylor is a million-dollar singer with multiple catchy songs, while I’m just a kid sitting at home typing this, with a few of said songs on my phone next to me. Truce?
*Yeah I stole that line from Black Widow, so what – she is 100% kickass, people, and I love her almost as much as I love Cap.
** Kudos to you for getting the Sherlock quote, A++ for pop culture referencing.